what’s underneath

Notes on the Below

—For Mammoth Cave National Park

Humongous cavern, tell me, wet limestone, sandstone caprock,
          bat-wing, sightless translucent cave shrimp,

this endless plummet into more of the unknown,
                    how one keeps secrets for so long.

All my life, I've lived above the ground,
          car wheels over paved roads, roots breaking through concrete,
and still I've not understood the reel of this life's purpose.

Not so much living, but hovering without sense.

What's it like to be always night? No moon, but a few lit up
          circles at your many openings. Endless dark, still time
must enter you. Like a train, like a green river?

Tell me what it is to be the thing rooted in shadow.
          To be the thing not touched by light (no that's not it)
to not even need the light? I envy; I envy that.

Desire is a tricky thing, the boiling of the body's wants,
          more praise, more hands holding the knives away.

I've been the one who has craved and craved until I could not see
          beyond my own greed. There's a whole nation of us.

To forgive myself, I point to the earth as witness.

To you, your Frozen Niagara, your Fat Man's Misery,
          you with your 400 miles of interlocking caves that lead
only to more of you, tell me,

what it is to be quiet, and yet still breathing.

          Ruler of the Underlying, let me
speak to both the dead and the living as you do. Speak
to the ruined earth, the stalactites, the eastern small-footed bat,

to honor this: the length of days. To speak to the core
          that creates and swallows, to speak not always to what's
shouting, but to what's underneath asking for nothing.

I am at the mouth of the cave. I am willing to crawl.

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